I saw Donnie at lunch. Down at the elephant in Park blocks. He was talking to some dirt bag. I dropped the latest Willamette Week in his lap and he freaked out. It's got a big picture of the streetcar on the cover and a really scary story!
"I'm eating! I'm tryin' to rest here and hang out, and you bring this...FILTH to me? This is what you bring me? Leave me alone. I gotta stare at that thing enough all day long."
Then he grabbed it our of my hand and started reading the story.
"What is this bullshit?"
Donnie don't read so good, but he likes pictures.
"Check out this Joey driving! I toasted his ass last night! He's a lifer. 'Hello Joey!'"
Well, we started reading the story - I read it out loud - and you are not gonna believe this. They're expanding the gd streetcar to the Eastside! Like taking over our entire turf in SW and NW was not enough. Now they're going Eastside! Donnie got downright livid when he saw the map.
"I spend half my day trying to kick the ass of every Joey there is over here, I run constantly up and down the street keeping people safe from these things, and now you tell me I gotta patrol on the Eastside too? What is this, the olympics? This is bullshit."
Donnie lit up a smoke and we pored over the map.
The streetcar is gonna go over the Broadway Bridge.
Donnie softened a bit when he saw that.
"Yo, look at that! That is gonna be so awesome at night! You ever run over Fremont at night? Man, that is cool! Phil and I used to do that."
My east side brothers and sisters, prepare to serve in the ranks. You are about to be invaded by the streetcar industrial complex.
But we are coming to help. We will prevail.
We will help you. We will show you how to beat the machines.
Donnie will show you.
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September 26, around 7:30 am. I started at the Water Front, right where that Huge beast of a machine the tram takes off. I wanted some payback against the pain the street cars had inflicted against me last week on my rookie run. Just as i was leaving the Water Front a Juice was headed in. Maybe I would catch it on its return trip back into the city? Being a rookie jacker, I figured if I just followed the beasts tracks, I would eventually find one to chase. The Juice never did catch back up to me. I made it all the way to Morrison and 11th, with no sign of a street car. Were they hiding from me? Then in the distance I heard and saw the lights in the distance coming my way. I started to pick up my pace. As I approached PGE park, it was bearing down on me, then I saw that it was in fact just a max train headed to Hillsboro!! Another rookie mistake, all tracks do not lead to a street car. I started my journey again, it had been close to 40 minutes and not a streetcar in sight. I ran down NW23rd, where I knew they occasionally gather. Finally as I was running down Northrup close to Phils ,I spotted a Bean headed my way. I eyed the Joey, who was definatley a lifer. He made no eye contact. The cars was headed to "Water Front" so the race was on! I admit going back up Northrup it was a back and forth contest. Always hearing the sqeeking behind me as it tired to chase me down. However once we made the turn down Lovejoy, the Bean was put in its place. Through the Pearl, and up through town I found myself always waiting for the Bean to catch me. I figured the final straight back to the Water Front past Naito with no stops, the Joey would put the hammer down. Apparently at that point the Joey knew he had met a superior machine, the human machine. I smoked him by a good 1/4 mile into the tram station.
One of the things I learned today about racing the street cars is that Portlanders wanted me to beat that machine. The people on the car were smiling at me, the people on the side walks moved to the side. Even that Sanitation truck tried to do some blocking.
Next week I venture into the night to chase the street cars. Will the monsters be out?
1957 Old Geezer
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